Fic: Five Things About Lassiter, O'Hara, and Target

Because everybody loves reasonable Isaac Mizrahi shoes, Archer Farms goat cheese pizza, housewares, and Lassiter and Juliet.

Thanks to anxietygrrl for the day-brightening prompt/request-demand. No spoilers, very G-rated, hooray, hooray:


Bull's-eye: A Five Things About Lassiter, O'Hara, and Target

1. It always begins with an argument over who gets to push the cart. While O'Hara's point--that four days out of five, Lassiter gets to drive the department car--is valid, he finds that if he relinquishes control too early, they end up parked at candles and photo frames for 30 minutes.

2. O'Hara takes the tops off different shampoo brands to smell them, and then insists that Lassiter smell them as well to "give his opinion." Lassiter tells her she shouldn't because she’s compromising the integrity of the product, and tampering could, technically, fall under certain guidelines for a felony.

But really, his protests have very little to do with the law.

And Juliet knows it.

3. They experience something close to synergy in the office supplies aisle. There is something about analyzing the cost-effectiveness per unit for file cabinets and arguing the merits of round silver thumbtacks versus the multicolored plastic kinds "with the little top hats" (O'Hara's words, not Lassiter's) that makes Lassiter want to place his hand at the small of his partner's back.

He doesn't. But he accepts her hug with relative good humor when he finds her the last box of fine-point Sharpies.

4. One time, Juliet finds her partner examining ball caps for newborns. He turns them over in his hands in a method both contemplative and gentle.

She watches him, obscured a bit by an endcap the next aisle over.

She doesn’t know what to do with the mixture of heartache and exhilaration it causes, so she buys herself new sheets. Expensive sheets. And stops by the pharmacy to make sure her birth control pills are in.

It's all very confusing for a few days.

5. "Enchanted?"

"It's about this cartoon princess who is pushed through a portal..."

"...And continues to act ridiculous and brain-damaged in the real world. Right. I saw the commercials."

"I think she's wonderful. She's sunny and positive and ends up with Patrick Dempsey. All that wavy dark hair..."

"..."

"You know, you roll your eyes, but I think you secretly like sunny and positive."

"Weren't we here for some kind of granola bars? Can we go now please?"

"If you grew your hair out, I bet it would be even better than Patrick Dempsey's."

"...just...go get your granola bars, O'Hara."

"Ooh, The Lake House is only $7!"

"I'm going over to automotive. I will pick up your granola bars on the way."

"And Hope Floats!"